I have always had a love-hate relationship with the Proverbs 31 Woman. She is so darn on top of things (perhaps it helps that she has maids, amen?) and exudes such strength and wisdom. She epitomizes what I want to be and I hate her for it.
Before I had kids, it was way easier to pretend to be her. If I could manage to stay on top of our little pile of laundry and vacuum occasionally, I felt pretty accomplished. I was managing my household with grace. I’m actually laughing at myself thinking about those days.
Do you want to know what I am clothed in these days? A messy ponytail and sweats, a very unattractive nursing bra underneath, a myriad of poop, pee and spit-up, dark sleepy eyes and a grown out, months old pedicure. Figuratively, I don frustration and impatience, not to mention my sometimes crippling fear of what the future holds.
As much as I would love to claim that I have it all together, I would be a liar. Literal clothes aside, my draping inexperience is heavy most days. But sometimes, once in a while, I catch myself wondering if these old clothes are starting to wear out…if slowly they are being replaced by the clothes I desire: strength, wisdom, courage, dignity. Maybe just a patch or two? Sometimes, I catch glimpses of these new clothes in my mirrors: my husband trusting me fully when the baby is screaming, my toddler squeezing her eyes tight to pray, my baby outgrowing her bassinet.
I will not lose hope. I see women who wear layers of these clothes and wear them well: my mom and mother-in-law when they take care of my babies and give me advice, Sarah in her beautifying of the mundane, Jen and Amber in their transparency, my sister taking care of her new baby, my parenting friends who trudge on with grace.
Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Time for new clothes.