Source: sarahbessey.com
I have always had a love-hate relationship with the Proverbs 31 Woman. She is so darn on top of things (perhaps it helps that she has maids, amen?) and exudes such strength and wisdom. She epitomizes what I want to be and I hate her for it.
Before I had kids, it was way easier to pretend to be her. If I could manage to stay on top of our little pile of laundry and vacuum occasionally, I felt pretty accomplished. I was managing my household with grace. I’m actually laughing at myself thinking about those days.
Do you want to know what I am clothed in these days? A messy ponytail and sweats, a very unattractive nursing bra underneath, a myriad of poop, pee and spit-up, dark sleepy eyes and a grown out, months old pedicure. Figuratively, I don frustration and impatience, not to mention my sometimes crippling fear of what the future holds.
As much as I would love to claim that I have it all together, I would be a liar. Literal clothes aside, my draping inexperience is heavy most days. But sometimes, once in a while, I catch myself wondering if these old clothes are starting to wear out…if slowly they are being replaced by the clothes I desire: strength, wisdom, courage, dignity. Maybe just a patch or two? Sometimes, I catch glimpses of these new clothes in my mirrors: my husband trusting me fully when the baby is screaming, my toddler squeezing her eyes tight to pray, my baby outgrowing her bassinet.
I will not lose hope. I see women who wear layers of these clothes and wear them well: my mom and mother-in-law when they take care of my babies and give me advice, Sarah in her beautifying of the mundane, Jen and Amber in their transparency, my sister taking care of her new baby, my parenting friends who trudge on with grace.
Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Time for new clothes.
Jen - So, this is the third time I’m trying to leave a comment. The first got eaten by my phone. The second, I accidentally pushed “cancel comment” and by that point, I had to put down the electronics and find some nachos before some unsuspecting toddler got caught in the crossfire.
Love this post. The dance of motherhood is a messy, frustrating, exhilarating, and challenging endeavor. (And a thousand other worthwhile adjectives).
I write so that other moms (and dads, really), won’t feel so alone in the trenches. So that they can find some humor in the mundane. Because at times, all anyone talks about are the high points… which, of course, isn’t a bad thing. But it’s ok to be imperfect. Trust me, I am often clothed in ratty lacrosse shorts with my hair every which way and snot smeared across my shoulder. And that’s both figuratively and literally.
You’re doing an amazing job with this juggling act. And funny… the very reason you mentioned me in this post, (which was such a fabulous surprise), is the very reason I love reading your blog, (and seeing your pictures… I love that you capture the every day).
Keep on keeping on. One day, we’ll have been refined enough by these little people that we hold so dear that we’ll be at least clothing ourselves with clean jeans or something.
(An aside… let’s get together, yes?)
(Also, my previous comments were ever so much better. Ah, life).